


The voice mail

by youthfullyxhappy



Category: Andi Mack - Fandom
Genre: M/M, i have no clue what this is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 05:26:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19350406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youthfullyxhappy/pseuds/youthfullyxhappy
Summary: “Hey Cyrus, it’s um me TJ, but you can probably tell that from the caller ID. I just called to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything, dating back to the first day we truly talked. I’m sorry about running away from the swings when Buffy got there, I’m sorry for trying to block you out when you were helping me at the basketball game. I’m sorry for not following you at the gun incident, I’m sorry about costume day, but most importantly I’m sorry that I haven’t been honest with you.”





	The voice mail

The number you have reached is unable to answer the phone right now, please leave your message at the beep. 

God am I really doing this.  
Fuck. 

Beep. 

Hey Cyrus, it’s um me TJ, but you can probably tell that from the caller ID. I just called to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything, dating back to the first day we truly talked. I’m sorry about running away from the swings when Buffy got there, I’m sorry for trying to block you out when you were helping me at the basketball game. I’m sorry for not following you at the gun incident, I’m sorry about costume day, but most importantly I’m sorry that I haven’t been honest with you. 

Am I really going to tell him? 

This is really hard to say, and the only reason I’m doing it now is because I’ve already started the message and I can’t delete a voicemail. It might take me a minute to get the courage to say it all so I’m sorry this voicemail might be long. But I’m going to start from the beginning. 

Deep breath TJ keep breathing

 

When I was around 8 years old I went to church religiously. Every Sunday morning and Sunday night, and even on Thursdays. I was brought up with Adam and Eve, the tree of good and evil, Jonah and the whale, Moses parting the Red Sea, all the biblical stories, and I believed them all. So when my friends started getting crushes on girls the way I imagined Adam to have liked Eve, I was wondering why I wasn’t feeling that way towards girls. Was there something wrong with me? Am I just not old enough even though I’m the oldest in the group? I was really confused, until I was ten and met a boy named Issac. Issac had light brown hair and blue eyes, and a twin sister named Isabell. His laugh was angelic, and his smile symbolised sunshine to me. When all my friends were crushing on Isabelle I couldn’t find anything to like about her, but when I was with Issac it was different. Their wasn’t one thing I didn’t like. The conversation flowed so naturally and I even got butterflies my friends once described when talking about girls. I thought about him when the art teacher said to draw something you admire and he was the only thing that pooped in my head. I didn’t understand why, until my friends started talking about girls again and I put the two together. We both know I’m not good at math, but that was easy. I had a crush on Issac, but I couldn’t have a crush on Issac because Adam married Eve, not Steve, and that’s what I’ve been taught, so I swallowed all my feelings for Issac, and took it out in sports. I started basketball and baseball, and forgot about girls and boys and all the drama that puberty is. Until eventually my friends told me “hey Isabelle likes you. You need to ask her out.” I felt all this pressure pound on me like a load of bricks, so I did. I asked her out, and we dated for six months, and she was my first kiss, and my second, and many after, but whenever I kissed her I felt nothing. I felt empty because I still had feelings for her brother, and Cyrus I felt like an awful person. So one night when Isabelle and I were watching a movie at her house, she fell asleep and I went into Issacs room. We talked and all the butterflies reappeared, and I didn’t know what happened but the next thing I knew my lips were on his and it felt nothing like kissing Isabelle, and the best part was that he felt it too. We spent the rest of the night talking and sharing kisses and it feel incredible, the way that kissing a person was supposed to, even when you’re ten. It was perfect, everything fit together until Isabelle came in. She wasn’t mad, and god bless her heart for that, but she told me I couldn’t like boys, and if I want to presume straight we would have to date for another month and she’d brake up with me. And that’s what happened. After that I made sure not to catch feelings for any boys, and put everything into sports until I met you. 

The hard parts done, breathe. 

God, Cyrus, you were like Issac all over again. Everything about you, the way you made me smile and laugh, the way the butterflies reappeared, the way I wanted to me be with you all the time, but I couldn’t let myself fall for you, so I was an asshole. But even then, you were kind and forgiving, and you had eyes that I got lost in, and I wanted to spend all my time with you. So I did. I let the past go and told myself it was okay to like a boy, it is okay to have feelings for a boy, until I met Kira. 

He’s gonna understand everything after. He’s gonna understand.

The part about costume day I never told you was that Kira manipulated me. She knew I liked you, and she didn’t use the exact words, but it was like she was as saying that if I didn’t do the costume with her she would out me. I couldn’t have her out me Cyrus. That would’ve ruined me, I need to come out on my own terms, to the people I want, when I want. I deserve that, she doesn’t, so I’ve been hanging out with her. She said that if I get her on the basketball team she’ll let it all slide so I need her on the basketball team or my life will be ruined. I promise you I wasn’t ditching you for Kira, I wouldn’t ditch you for anybody, unless it was the Jonas Brothers, because I have a duty, but Cyrus it’s you I want to spend the time with. It’s you I want to piggy back, it’s you I want to hold hands with, it’s you I want to kiss, it’s always been you. 

I’m sorry about Kira. I’m sorry about swinging with her (Buffy texted me) I’m sorry about everything. If you get this please call me back. 

Okay Cy, umm I’m done. 

Tj thought he hung up the phone when the words “I really love you” came out of his mouth, but he didn’t.


End file.
